Our boundaries are all we really have to make sure we’re honoring our own needs, instead of sacrificing ourselves. Whether it’s a boundary you set with yourself to limit screen time or junk food, or a boundary you set with another person when they disrespect you, your boundaries are a reflection of your own self-worth, because they reveal what you are (and aren’t) willing to tolerate.
As Lark explains, some people have a particularly hard time setting boundaries because their inner defense mechanisms tell them they need to cater to others’ needs, sacrifice their own, and ultimately abandon themselves in order to get approval, validation, or love.
Figuring out what your boundaries are, and enforcing them, then, is a slow and steady climb to trusting yourself, listening to your own wants and needs, and knowing your limits.
Plus, Lark says, when you know where your limits are, “It’s easier for us to spot those transgressions and put some sort of ‘fencing’ in place, [and] know what our values are, and how we want to live our lives and invest our time.”